A Tribute To Office Banter: 1/23/06-1/27/06

A yawn isn’t contiagous, just a powerful suggestion. The infamous “debugging” moth story. Best way to leave a nasty note to a colleague: voice activation on Adobe v6.0, they cut it out of v7.0 b/c of Gov't abuse. The Shampoo Loop: Lather, Wash, Rinse, Repeat. How to grow a pineapple. Wet Paint Syndrome. How they diagnosis sleep apnea. Being a good carpenter: measure 2x, cut once. Sodium in the toilet can blow someone up. The number of zip codes in the state of California. Worry is interest on a debt that isn’t even due yet. East coast “delicacy”: Scrapple. The dirt under your fingernails is perservatives? Material vs materiel. DIET: Did I Eat That? Don’t ever come home to your wife smelling like soap. It’s so humid in the East dogs don’t chase cats, they walk them. If the maker doesn’t want it, the buyer doesn’t use it, and the user never sees it, what is it? A coffin. Making diamonds out of ashes, just need carbon w/ heat and pressure. Firehose method of learning. Whenever your life is gold, keep your eye on the donut, not the hole. Dewey Cheatemandhow. That’ll do it! What would it take for you to beat your girl in public? She insults your mom? No. Cheating? No. Paying child support for 10 yrs and finding out it’s not your kid? No. What about if she told you that she used to be a he? That’ll do it! How RuPaul tucks to “fit” in his/her dresses. Blue moon occurs on the 2nd full moon of the month. If you sneeze, burp, cough, pass gas at the same time you’re pretty much out of here…and you might take some people, too. Body mechanism that protects itself: you won’t sneeze after getting the “zipper”. North Carolina and New Mexico are the only states that are allowed to tax the Federal Government on services. On NIB/NISH firms: how are they making pens? Seriously! What can build buildings, yet tear them down and can blind a man, yet help a blind man see? Sand. What metal is in a light bulb? Tungstun. What’s the atomic symbol? W. What was that sound? Someone has a lot of fiber in their diet! That’s some wicker swing-set fiber! This is a January/February conversation, March yourself out. Rocky Mountain Oysters. Raisens make moonshine more smooth. Only way to stay awake during a meeting: amuse yourself with someone trying to stay awake. People nodding in meetings are like heorion addicts: impeccable balance…never fall! Make sure to click this button..it’s really hard to find, it’s called job security. Write down this code: “ID”, ten, and “t”. PEBCAC (Problem Exists Between Computer And Chair). Should you hang a men with a wooden leg? Nope, you should do it with a rope. Never piss off a flight attendent about your food, they’ll take your meal in the bathroom and give it the “blue juice” treatment. Sylvester ‘s “suffering succotash”. Succotash= corn and lima beans, along with milk, butter, and seasonings and nutmeg. Whenever there is a contract under investigation, the first thing you’ll see people do is frantically flipping through the pages and sighing/tossing it when they find out it’s not their signature on the document.